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Well,
Joseph, you are gone from OBC but not forgotten, especially
as long as this web page continues to exist. We will
miss your irrepressible spirit, strange sense of humour,
and the lack of seriousness with which you take yourself.
And
now, since you are gone, I'd like to set the record
straight. Naturally, a person of your notoriety would
be talked about, dare I say gossiped about, and so I
would like to present a list of the top 10-untrue-rumours
about you. These are presented strictly in the interests
of accuracy and truthfulness, and not at all for a cheap
laugh.
The
Top 10 Untrue Rumours about Joseph Tame Spread At OBC:
Joseph Tame...
10.
did NOT give his boss vigorous daily shoulder and back
rubs in order to curry favour.
9. did NOT, at the age of 18 and after a night of drunken
revelry, have the words "handle with care" tattooed
on his bum. (or the phrase, "this side up.")
8.
has NOT been signed by Channel Four to star in a television
series called "Tame? I Don't Think So!" in which Joseph
lives in a large house with six nubile young stewardesses,
but must pretend to be gay in order to mollify the old-fashioned
landlord.
7. NEVER acosted Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi
on the street and asked him, "hey, do you want to see
a picture of a guy with an enormous scrotum?"
6.
was NEVER caught in a love nest with Madonna, outside
of which she was heard to yell, "enough!! Joseph, you're
too much man for me!"
5.
was NOT fired from an English conversation school because
when a student asked the meaning of the word "moon,"
Joseph dropped his trousers and bent over.
4.
did NOT have a fondness for plush, soft toys above and
beyond what most people would consider normal.
3.
did at NO time place a false advertisement in the Tokyo
magazine Metropolis claiming to be a sex-starved young
woman and generating 600 responses from sex-starved
men, whose e-mail addresses would then be used to start
a subscription website called "Association of Foreign
Men Who Need Easy Women", to which Japanese women would
pay large sums to access, earning Joseph a small fortune.
2.
was NEVER heard to say to his co-worker Lisa, "don't
tell Tito this, but if I could have any wish, it would
be to be more like him."
And
finally, the No. 1 Untrue Rumour about Joseph Tame Spread
At OBC: Joseph Tame...
1.
is NOT the illegitimate love child of Margaret Thatcher
and Ronald Reagan.
Whew.
I feel much better now that I know these slanders have
been put to rest.
Tito
04-03-2002 |
