When Kae asked me if I'd tried out the toilet, I must admit I was a bit non-plussed. As far as I knew there had been no change in our "toire", it had been functioning just fine doing everything that toilets are supposed to do (i.e. flush). However, what I hadn't realised was that earlier that day the great Beginning of Winter Plugging in Ceremony had been performed. Intruiged, I took my seat to find it pleasently warm - but this came as no great surprise as most modern toilets in Japan are heated.

My attention then turned to the 10-buttoned remote control nestled in its cradle on the wall above the loo roll. Although of course I'd spent many hours with my eyes upon it, I had never had the opportunity to experience the delights behind the buttons.

Initially, I thought that the remote batteries must be flat as there was no reaction when the buttons were prodded.

However, further inspection of the toilet seat revealed that it is had a pressure switch to prevent accidental flooding of the bathroom. With a foot on the seat and camera in hand, I tried again. A motor rapidly kicked in causing a pipe to shoot out of the back of the bowl - warm water was then squirted all over my trousers as I attempted to simoultaneously capture the above action shot AND press the all-important STOP button.

I have since discovered the use for the other buttons: there's the water pressure up/down selectors, the temperature control, and more intruigingly, a "Massage" setting. This does exactly what it suggests: massages your bottom - you can even select your favourite rythmn from the various types on offer.

The miricles of modern technoloy... what will they come up with next?