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Monday, October 29, 2007

Accepting me for me

It's been a good weekend. Got lots done. I think it was a good thing that I didn't have my Mac this weekend.

The nervous tension brought on by the knowledge that next week I will get it back with a new screen, new keyboard, new optical drive, new Operating system, new iLife suite and double the RAM it had before has been enough to send me into a study frenzy! I spent another 10 hours in the library Information Commons today, and as a result of that completed virtually all of basic homework for the coming week. In addition to the two translations, the (Japanese) self-intro for the job application, the research into the immigration system in Japan (have you seen the new measures they're introducing this month?! They think we're all crimnials!) and the newspaper article, I also managed to finish off two text books on Work in Japan and turn them into a few pages of notes. Then, encouraged by my homework, I wrote the first draft of my real life application for the JET program, having downloaded the 52 page guidance manual. With competition so stiff nothing can be taken for granted, it's going to be tough. I've sent my referees the guidelines that need to be followed for their contributions (includes the seal of the envelopes being signed!), and initiated the getting-copies-of-my-transcripts process.

Wow, it's all happening!



Whilst doing some of that translation homework today, I observed an interesting attitude revealing itself within me.

I often talk about bettering oneself, and how important I think it is to push oneself beyond one's comfort zone whenever possible. Thus, I was a little taken aback when I found myself saying,
"Hmm, it's not great Joseph. But it'll do. ...it's very you!"
And thinking back on events last week, notably the presentations I gave, I recall feeling similar feelings there. I didn't really follow the regular academic presentation pattern (although come to think of it I doubt there is such a thing). I was more a Labrador on steroids. In fact in one of the presentations I left out most of what I'd planned to say as I was too hyper to look at my notes. I ended up just going with what it said on my Keynote presentation, and adding chunks of stuff that flew into my head along the way. Thus, it wasn't quite as academic as it could have been. I missed out on the clever vocab, and got rather emotionally involved. Despite this, it went down very well.

Where does this feeling stem from? It's not laziness is it?

I don't think so.

No, I think it's more to do with the fact that I seem to be trusting myself a lot more lately. If I am just me, if I am true to myself, things will all work out. There will be no room for regret, as I am just 'myself', and that's who I am. There's no point in worrying.

Yes, I know I've been saying these things in a repetitive manner for several months, but as this is the first time I've seen the attitude and the results manifested in an academic situation, it feels all new all over again.

I want to do well in my degree, but at the same time I feel it's not helpful to overburden myself. Still, if I continue having weekends such as this one (which I have really enjoyed actually) I think I will do well. Whatever 'well' means.

Anyway, bed time for me. I have to be up bright and early for a time-management course. It's being run by some professional advisers from a large corporation, the name of which escapes me, so I'm hoping that I may be able to learn a thing or two from it!

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