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Monday, October 22, 2007

Humility

At those times when one does something well, and receives recognition for having done it well, it can be difficult to prevent one's ego from going out and feasting on chocolate-covered organic pineapple (my favourite food). Doing so can cause one to believe that one's legs have grown and that one is now at least three foot taller than everyone else. Above the crowd, with a clear view of all around.

Of course, this is absolute rubbish. One is not taller than anyone else. It's just that one's ego has become so overgrown that it has put a distance between one's Self and those around. One can blindly, and quite incorrectly, see this distance, and think "gosh, aren't I superior!", when in fact one is just overweight in the ego department.

I wrote about guarding against becoming ego-centric just last week, but in the light of my comments in the previous post, I feel I want to make another disclaimer. Yes, there is a part of me that questions the necessity of justifying oneself on one's own blog, but a greater part of me feels uneasy in that what was written could be taken as a sign of arrogance, a trait that I abhor. And, part of this experiment is to go with what feels right, thus, here I am writing this.

My celebrations, as depicted on the Mumble, are not those of someone who feels he has risen above the crowd, they are those of someone who feels he understands just a teeny weeny bit more about things than he did before, which was and remains much much less than the majority of people in this world. In his heart he remains humble, aware that he is just taking his first baby steps, and is constantly seeking advice, guidance, and feedback. Everyone has a valuable lesson to teach him.

This feeling of wide-eyed wonder is a result of the excitement of knowing that one knows so little! "Hurray! It's morning! Another whole day of learning about life! What will I be taught today, and what can I pass on that I learnt yesterday?" Waking up and thinking that makes even the grimmest of days tremendously exciting. As it happens, I have a sticky situation to deal with in about 12 hours. I've thought about how it might go, and appreciate that I may misjudge someone quite badly, and cause myself and others considerable grief. None the less, it needs to be attempted, and already I'm looking forward to watching myself blunder through it, observing the outcome for future reference. For me, this kind of detached thinking makes even the most dreaded of tasks positively fun!

Anyway, that's my disclaimer. No matter how excited I may get at how happy I am with life, I remain humbly yours, whoever 'you' may be.

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