Time Management Part 2

One thing that today's session highlighted for me was just how difficult I find it to say 'No'. This results in my becoming involved in many different projects - spreading my resources thinly, leading to an overall net loss in effectiveness.

I've been trying hard to say No more often. In meetings, where volunteers are called for, I've started keeping quiet, instead of feeling bad that this person is going to have to do whatever it is by themselves. I've got my commitments, it's not an act of selfishness, it's pragmatism.

The real trouble starts though when it's things I really want to do. Take for example my postcard business. This is something I would love to start (more for a sense of personal satisfaction than to make money), and here is Sheffield, if you have a business idea you'll find start-up funds being thrown at you left right and centre (some of which we've already been beneficiaries of). Once I graduate and leave Sheffield these opportunities will pass - would it be stupid for me to not take advantage of them while I can?

Perhaps if I had no other goals that were more important to me than (for example) my postcard business, then yes, I think it would be. But of course, I do have other goals, the most importnat one being obtaining a degree in Japanese Studies. I really do feel like I'm on a knife edge with this one. My kanji recognition is very poor, as are my speaking skills (at least in the classroom. I'm fine afterwards having daily conversations. My listening skills are good too). My range of vocab has plummeted; I find this somewhat worrying.

So when a friend of mine from Bristol phones up tonight, tremendously excited with a business idea that also appeals to me, I feel bad. I really want to say yes - after all, if we don't seize the moment it will pass! - but no, I don't want to do that as much as I want to succeed in my degree course. It hurts doing so, but I force myself to not voice enthusiasm when it comes to discussing my part in things. I can't live my life for other people! They would never expect me to in any case. They'll be just fine without me. They always have been, they always will be. Yes, maybe I am missing the opportunity of a lifetime, but they'll be plenty more.

The battle between living for today and making adequate provisions for the future is a vicious one, and not one that I enjoy.

But, my decision has been made. This year it's my degree that takes priority. I must work hard to not feel guilty about letting others down, and to not make myself feel that I'm 'wasting' my university years by studying. This is what I came here to do. I just have to do it.

Time Management

So, I went to my Time Management session today - a two hour workshop run by PriceWaterhouseCoopers, delivered for free thanks to the university's Life Skills program.

I thought it pretty ironic when, on leaving the session, I looked at my watch and realised that I'd just missed my 3pm lecture! (A lecture given by a charming, charismatic man who has written a few fantastic books which are available here for you to purchase right now. Make sure you tell him that Joseph sent you).

The presentation itself wasn't all that helpful. It was all common sense stuff: make lists, have long-term objectives etc. (For a copy of the PDFs text "TIME youremailaddress" to 85792 (UK only)). Some of the most innovative and practical tips actually came from other participants. I think the disappointment primarily stemmed from the fact that at the beginning of the session they asked for aspects of time management that we wanted to deal with. "Yep, they're all great suggestions, and I think we'll cover them all this afternoon" we were told. And then we didn't. Perhaps the most useful thing I learnt was 'Time management is 99% self-discipline', which is of course a made-up statistic, but it's been made up for a reason.

Despite this, it was a good kick up the bum. My time management will probably be great this week, and then disappear altogether at the weekend when I get my Mac back.

As you may have guessed, we're on a bit of a downer today. Poor *Twinkle* has had a
very high temperature for several days now, and being barely able to eat has lost over a kilo since she became ill last Friday.

Then there's having no music, no phone, no ability to look at photos. The sound works fine on this laptop when it comes to voicing Windows error messages, but other than that not a peep.

Anyway, I guess I'd best make use of this opportunity. I think I might go back to the library, it'll stop me moping.

tattaa

Nostalgia

Recently what with all these data backups and so on, I've been thinking,

"It's a shame I never kept copies of my original website. All that time I put in to writing my first bits of code... That ghastly light blue colour scheme..."

And then tonight, completely by chance, I stumbled across an archive of old web pages - and look what they had in there...

Tame Goes Wild - when it was still Josephtame.com in December 2001, just a few months after I first published it.

ahhhhhh.

Incidentally, it was a few years back when I accidentally let josephtame.com slip. It was then bought by some some company that tried to sell it back to me for a million pounds. I said no, and waited. Until today, when I got it back - for 5 pounds. Hurrah! It should be pointing this way within 24 hours.

Accepting me for me

It's been a good weekend. Got lots done. I think it was a good thing that I didn't have my Mac this weekend.

The nervous tension brought on by the knowledge that next week I will get it back with a new screen, new keyboard, new optical drive, new Operating system, new iLife suite and double the RAM it had before has been enough to send me into a study frenzy! I spent another 10 hours in the library Information Commons today, and as a result of that completed virtually all of basic homework for the coming week. In addition to the two translations, the (Japanese) self-intro for the job application, the research into the immigration system in Japan (have you seen the new measures they're introducing this month?! They think we're all crimnials!) and the newspaper article, I also managed to finish off two text books on Work in Japan and turn them into a few pages of notes. Then, encouraged by my homework, I wrote the first draft of my real life application for the JET program, having downloaded the 52 page guidance manual. With competition so stiff nothing can be taken for granted, it's going to be tough. I've sent my referees the guidelines that need to be followed for their contributions (includes the seal of the envelopes being signed!), and initiated the getting-copies-of-my-transcripts process.

Wow, it's all happening!

---

Whilst doing some of that translation homework today, I observed an interesting attitude revealing itself within me.

I often talk about bettering oneself, and how important I think it is to push oneself beyond one's comfort zone whenever possible. Thus, I was a little taken aback when I found myself saying,

"Hmm, it's not great Joseph. But it'll do. ...it's very you!"

And thinking back on events last week, notably the presentations I gave, I recall feeling similar feelings there. I didn't really follow the regular academic presentation pattern (although come to think of it I doubt there is such a thing). I was more a Labrador on steroids. In fact in one of the presentations I left out most of what I'd planned to say as I was too hyper to look at my notes. I ended up just going with what it said on my Keynote presentation, and adding chunks of stuff that flew into my head along the way. Thus, it wasn't quite as academic as it could have been. I missed out on the clever vocab, and got rather emotionally involved. Despite this, it went down very well.

Where does this feeling stem from? It's not laziness is it?

I don't think so.

No, I think it's more to do with the fact that I seem to be trusting myself a lot more lately. If I am just me, if I am true to myself, things will all work out. There will be no room for regret, as I am just 'myself', and that's who I am. There's no point in worrying.

Yes, I know I've been saying these things in a repetitive manner for several months, but as this is the first time I've seen the attitude and the results manifested in an academic situation, it feels all new all over again.

I want to do well in my degree, but at the same time I feel it's not helpful to overburden myself. Still, if I continue having weekends such as this one (which I have really enjoyed actually) I think I will do well. Whatever 'well' means.

Anyway, bed time for me. I have to be up bright and early for a time-management course. It's being run by some professional advisers from a large corporation, the name of which escapes me, so I'm hoping that I may be able to learn a thing or two from it!

Under the sea

I think if it was just a case of having to put up with the very loud prostitute outside my window I wouldn't feel that stressed.

But combine that with having to use Windows XP and it's enough to make one want to live in a submarine. For about 10 years. Without oxygen.

p.s. Excellent news from Google - Gmail now offers IMAP support! They're rolling it out over the next few days, just go to your settings and select the IMAP option.

RTA

It was about 10am when I heard the crash. Jumping up from my bouncy ball I pulled the net curtain back, and peered out onto the main road. There were a lot of stationary cars, a motorbike on its side, and in their midst, a guy lying on his back.

Seeing this, I dialled 999 and was put through to a man who asked me what the situation was. I briefly explained, asking for both police and an ambulance; at the same time I was trying to clear my head enough so figure out where my jeans and jacket were.

Name, address, phone number, number plates of vehicles involved, description of victim, is he conscious and breathing? Your name? Oh, sorry, I asked you that before.

By this time I was squatting in the road with the biker, David. Beside him, his bike, with the front totally scrunched up, lay bleeding petrol. With me was a man who’s witnessed the accident and parked his van diagonally across the road so as to stop oncoming traffic, and a doctor who’d been passing by (those medical folks really do come out of the woodwork when there’s an accident you know: in the 10 minutes we were waiting for the ambulance, no less that seven people stopped and introduced themselves as either doctors or nurses!).

Dave himself was alright, apart from what seemed to be a broken arm, and shock. The driver whose fault it was was not in such a good space. Pacing up and down the road, repeating “I have to go pick up me nan!” …and sure enough, a few minutes later he made his decision; despite our telling him that he could get in even more trouble for leaving the scene, back into his car he jumped and off he sped. We had his name and number plate though, and when the police finally arrived they seemed to be only too familiar with RTA scenes which were lacking in a culprit.

It was great to see how incidents like that can instantly being people together from very different walks of life. There was Dave, myself, the lady doctor and the van driver, all feeling very team-like. The van driver had also called the police, and seemed to be the only witness remaining. A skinhead, covered in tattoos of the Union Jack and sporting a thick local accent, I thought how much he reminded me of the people who attacked me a couple of years back in the city centre. Yet here he was, kind, concerned, and non-judgemental. I was ashamed by my own stereotyping.

Eventually the emergency services arrived. Once Dave was being treated in the ambulance, and after the Police had taken a look at the mess, we picked his big bike up and wheeled it to the side of the road. I fetched a dustpan and brush, and together we swept up the wingmirrors, speedo and lights. Statements were taken, the traffic moved on.

I was glad that the injuries sustained by Dave were not anything like as serious as those suffered by the chap who was attacked outside our house a week ago. I wasn’t in at the time, so it was only when the police came round yesterday morning that I heard anything about it. Apparently, a single man had been attacked by four other men in the middle of the road. Cars swerving to avoid the fight, the victim ended up with a fractured skull and many other bones broken all the way down to his waist. It sounded like a vicious assault. Despite the fact that it actually took place right outside my window, I still don’t consider where I live to be all that dangerous. Still, I will bear in mind what happened a week ago, and keep my wits about me when making the short walk home from the library late at night.

Anyhow, I’d best get on with the study.

Hello Leopard

The countdown to the launch of Leopard on Apple's front page currently reads 3 hours 16 minutes 36 seconds. At that time, Apple shops will open their doors after a few hours of secretive preparation, and allow people to get their first glimpse of Leopard.

Unless of course those people happen to already have it installed...

The look on the face of the Apple member of staff who turned my MacBook on to check it before it went in for repair this morning was an absolute classic.

"WHERE...?!!" he started out in a rather loud voice, then regaining composure, continuing, "Where did you get this?!" pointing at the freshly installed Leopard Desktop. I thought about telling him that Steve always sends me a copy of a new OS ahead of time, but thought he might punch me, so instead told him the truth: TNT had ignored the request to not deliver it before 6pm. Thus, it had arrived at 8.30am, and I'd installed it immediately (most of the installation actually took place whilst I was on the tram to the Shopping Centre; I was just completing the registration process as they unlocked the front door). The idea was that if I got in installed before I dropped it off, not only would that erase the personal data I hadn't already manually removed, but also, if I had problems with the install I could get it sorted whilst I was there.

"That's really not right! It doesn't go on sale until tonight! We'd get in serious trouble if we even showed it before then, you know what Apple's like with secrecy ...and here's a customer running it! You know, we weren't even allowed a preview of it, not even for training. I only saw it myself for the first time an hour ago.

Thinking that he might 'accidentally' drop my Mac on the floor in revenge, I asked him about his holiday. He'd mentioned that he'd been away, and was looking mightily tanned. With the initiation of that conversation, he instantly brightened up. "Yeah, Spain, it was so nice..."

Back in good humour, he said they'd get it fixed asap.

So there we have it - my claim to fame is that I was running Leopard 8 hours in advance of its official launch.

(For about 2 minutes. Until I handed over my MacBook for surgery)

Now, I'm using this incredible OS, "Windows XP" I think it's called. Comes complete with a Large Hammer pre-installed.

Anyway, initial thoughts on Leopard?

Very nice. The changeover was painless, and only took 58 minutes. Whilst the default option upon insertion of the disk is 'Upgrade', I went for 'Erase and Install' as a simple Upgrade will always leave some cack behind. I was impressed by the way it didn't even have to restart to format the hard drive - I think it 'reinitiates' the HD rather than formatting it as such. So yes, just a couple of clicks, and 58 minutes later it's up and running.

Having handed it over to the Genius Bar staff, I had a play with the other Macs in store that had just had 10.5 Installed. Unfortunately they were yet to be linked up to a backup drive, so no chance of playing with Time Machine.

Looking at the new Finder, with coverflow and all, I couldn't help but feel disappointed that it is still pants when compared with Pathfinder. It really is a lame program (in the same way that Windows Explorer is), so limited in functionality, despite the enhancements in 10.5.

There are some practical improvements I'm happy about, like the built-in Japanese dictionary and the way that Automator can now record any action. There's some great new networking options too, although these only really come into their own when you have several macs in the house.

One of the features I especially like is the new Parental Controls - great idea. I guess I'm thinking about that time when I buy my twin baby girls their first Macs at the age of 7 days.

Anyway, I'll let you know how I get on with it when my Mac comes back shiney and new next week.

Till then, it's ctrl-alt-delete all the way!

Bye bye Tiger

I had serious doubts last night as to whether I'd be able to attend all my classes today. I don't like missing lectures, as we have relatively few, so any missed tend to have quite a big impact on one's overall understanding of what's going on.

It was after 1am, and I still hadn't finished my Keynote presentation for the Work and Society module, a presentation that was due to be made 16 hours later.

Then there was the Japanese newspaper article homework - read the two pieces and find the 3 connections. Going to that 10am class would cost me precious preparation time - should I skip it, or attend and just blag it without preparing?

Then at 1pm was our spoken class, which required research into the drugs scene in Japan. But I wouldn't have time for that - at 2pm was our translation class, and a lack of prep for that would leave me in the poo. It was following that class that I had to give the presentation, then after that and another class on population issues in China, I'd need to do a final bit of prep for my 9000 Miles presentation at 8pm for Photo soc... surely I couldn't fit all of this in...?

It's now 10.44pm. I'm back home.

Work and Society presentation prep? Done.
Prep for Newspaper class? Squeezed in 30 minutes before class.
Drugs research? 30 minutes during lunch.
Translation of UN piece? First section done in 45 minutes after the newspaper class.
Work and Soc presentation - done, and done well apparently. Thank you Peter.
Photo soc presentation? Went down well. Got to know folks better after the meeting as we chatted about travel photography.

Just goes to show, when I stop messing around, I can actually get quite a lot done!

I feel very grateful towards everyone who watched / listened to my presentations today, they were very kind audiences.

Now it's on to my dissertation, construction of a website for CILASS, and a small matter of a 3000 page job application!

---

My Mac goes in for surgery tomorrow morning. Its perfect timing, as tonight the CD/DVD drive well and truly packed up, refusing to acknowledge that it had a disk in it - it wouldn't even spit it out!

It's not just the DVD drive, screen and keyboard surround that's being replaced - upon its return I shall be formatting the hard drive and installing OS 10.5, a.k.a. Leopard.

Thus, tonight I am backing everything up onto three external drives - one can never be too careful! Tomorrow morning I shall delete all my files, and bid my Mac good luck as it has some of its most prominent components replaced.

I hope I don't forget anything. It's the things like transferring calendar events and address book to Google that are fiddly. Backing up my secure password database (I'd be stuffed if I lost that!), Bookmarks from Firefox, preference files, flagged emails and so forth.

I'm looking forward to giving Time Machine a whizz. Oh, and the new dictionary has Japanese as standard.

Meanwhile, I've been preparing the Windows laptop I've been leant. Ouch. It's a painful process. Have already had one forced shutdown, when the installation of Skype went awry. Perhaps it's just me. I never used to find Windows so cumbersome. Perhaps it's my Mac-tinted spectacles.

So yep, that's it from me on Tiger. Thank you Tiger. You have been mightily sexy these past 15 months. May you Roar In Peace.

Tags: Mac OSX | Tiger | Leopard | The Daily Mumble

Life without a computer? Impossible.

So, following today's Planning Your Dissertation meeting, I've decided to give up eating. There clearly isn't time for it this year.

Spent an hour on the phone to Hiroshima this morning (cost me all of 25 pence). It wasn't the whole city mind you, 'cause I wouldn't have understood what they were saying, just one person. (Reminds me though, the other day I had a problem with Skype and as a result had 14 messages played back to me simultaneously. It was almost musical). The person I spoke to is a Sheffield graduate who went on to become a CIR, the job that I'm now very interested in. Two things stick out: no two CIR's ever have the same job; it's a great experience.

My MacBook is going in for major surgery on Friday morning. No Mac for up to a week - How will I survive? I was thinking, I just can't go without a computer at home for that long, not now when there's so much going on, so I asked a friendly department at uni if they'd lend me one - and they did! I am very grateful. Thank you to them.

It's a Windows computer though - an Acer I think. I must be prepared for frustration. Back to the dark days of BSODs (Blue Screen of Death), and restarts between program installs. My blogs over the weekend may just consist of endless combinations of swear words, and pictures of Bill Gates with his willy caught in a DVD drive.

With the imminent arrival of Apple's new OS, Leopard, I'm thinking I might as well format my MacBook's hard drive before I drop it off. That would also eliminate the risk of being arrested for harbouring abusive data, that being all the lude messages I've received from readers of The Daily Mumble over the past 5 years.

Anyway, it's chilly, I need to put my hat on.

xxx joseph

Tags: mac | The Daily Mumble

Stress and hair loss - an experiment

I thought I'd conduct an experiment today.

The idea was to induce extreme stress for a short period of time, and see if my hair fell out.

I concentrated hard, inducing stressful thoughts for about 30 minutes, and then waited.


Sure enough, about 35 minutes later, a huge swathe of hair fell out. It was a dramatic result.


Thing then was to even it out. This meant concentrating my stressful thoughts in certain areas of my head, namely the sides.

A couple of hours of intense cerebral activity later, I got the result I needed to prove once and for all the connection between stress and hair loss.


The next phase is to demonstrate the influence that positive thinking has upon hair growth. This will demonstrate to those non-believers out there that the answers all lie within.

I think this part of the demonstration may take a little longer though. Say, 6 weeks.

Tags: hair loss | The Daily Mumble

The travels of my Mongolian Phrasebook

I received the following email a few moments ago. Made me smile!

"Hi,
Just thought I'd update you on the progress of your Mongolian phrasebook which is travelling the world without you. I had a great time in Mongolia whihc has to be one of the most empty and beautiful countries in the world - nearly got caught in the bubonic plague outbreak and survived a snow storm.

The phrasebook is now in the company of a NZ guy called Justin who has bought a jeep to travel the countryside - so will definitely need it.

I am now in Pingyao in China. I went straight to Erlian on the train and then the bus to Beijing and in the company of a lovely Chinese woman who was on holiday so went very smoothly. Then I got here via Datong and Wutai Shan. I am enjoying it, but finding the pollution tough.

Hope you had an interesting journey home

Ruth (from Sheffield to whom you lent the said phrasebook in Irkutsk, Siberia)

Anton in Tibet

Checking my RSS feeds, I found that Anton, the young chap I met in Moscow who shares my passion for adventurous travel and photography, has finally reached Tibet.

He's been taking some stunning shots, which I invite you to take a look at.

I have a You Tube recommendation too, which brought a few tears to my eyes when I watched it.

Perhaps you already know of them - Team Hoyt.

Just goes to show, we all have so much potential, if we'd only just do it.

Tags: team hoyt | The Daily Mumble

Humility

At those times when one does something well, and receives recognition for having done it well, it can be difficult to prevent one's ego from going out and feasting on chocolate-covered organic pineapple (my favourite food). Doing so can cause one to believe that one's legs have grown and that one is now at least three foot taller than everyone else. Above the crowd, with a clear view of all around.

Of course, this is absolute rubbish. One is not taller than anyone else. It's just that one's ego has become so overgrown that it has put a distance between one's Self and those around. One can blindly, and quite incorrectly, see this distance, and think "gosh, aren't I superior!", when in fact one is just overweight in the ego department.

I wrote about guarding against becoming ego-centric just last week, but in the light of my comments in the previous post, I feel I want to make another disclaimer. Yes, there is a part of me that questions the necessity of justifying oneself on one's own blog, but a greater part of me feels uneasy in that what was written could be taken as a sign of arrogance, a trait that I abhor. And, part of this experiment is to go with what feels right, thus, here I am writing this.

My celebrations, as depicted on the Mumble, are not those of someone who feels he has risen above the crowd, they are those of someone who feels he understands just a teeny weeny bit more about things than he did before, which was and remains much much less than the majority of people in this world. In his heart he remains humble, aware that he is just taking his first baby steps, and is constantly seeking advice, guidance, and feedback. Everyone has a valuable lesson to teach him.

This feeling of wide-eyed wonder is a result of the excitement of knowing that one knows so little! "Hurray! It's morning! Another whole day of learning about life! What will I be taught today, and what can I pass on that I learnt yesterday?" Waking up and thinking that makes even the grimmest of days tremendously exciting. As it happens, I have a sticky situation to deal with in about 12 hours. I've thought about how it might go, and appreciate that I may misjudge someone quite badly, and cause myself and others considerable grief. None the less, it needs to be attempted, and already I'm looking forward to watching myself blunder through it, observing the outcome for future reference. For me, this kind of detached thinking makes even the most dreaded of tasks positively fun!

Anyway, that's my disclaimer. No matter how excited I may get at how happy I am with life, I remain humbly yours, whoever 'you' may be.

Andy Goldsworthy makes me happy

Today, I had a real treat - a visit to Yorkshire Sculpture Park, which is currently host to a number of Andy Goldsworthy installations.

It was absolutely magical. Standing before his huge wall of leaf stems I had shivers running down my spine. Surrounded by his cracked mud-walls, I was glowing, this was the real thing!

Sculpture parks can be incredibly dull, and I must admit, many of the permanent installations at YSP don't interest me in the slightest. But Andy's work really connects with me, perhaps because it so strongly rooted in nature.

Here's a few photos I took today. We'll start with an Andy Goldsworthy piece (most were not photographable!).



leaf



spying on the cow


Wall in focus


the nose


the cage


running away from mummy and daddy who are shouting at me


llama pose



walkies



We had a pretty dramatic coach crash on the way back. Us passengers were OK, poor woman in front got whiplash, and the dog in the back went into shock. I think I would too if the back of the car collapsed on me.

It's been a great weekend. My business presentation yesterday to a group of 35 or so went down a real treat, despite my having prepared nothing but a few bullet points. I guess that's what happens when you speak from the heart. It's funny, I don't know why, but public speaking is something that I'm increasingly attracted to.

Crikey, so much has changed in me since I started university in 2004. These days really are the best days of my life ...so far!

It's a real shame *Twinkle* is so far away. I want to share this excitement with her.

I'm so so happy to be 'here'.

Tags: photos | happy | andy goldsworthy | The Daily Mumble

It's that time again!

Tags: sunrise | dance | morning | The Daily Mumble

An intelligent universe

I've been listening to Alan Watts' lectures this morning, thoroughly recommended. They're pretty short, easy to digest ...and make sense for me. Available as a podcast too.



"You cannot get an intelligent organism such as a human being out of an unintelligent universe."

Hmm. I guess that means I must be intelligent...?

Tags: alan watts | The Daily Mumble

Comments have been disabled for this post.

Those received between the time of first publishing and the removal of the comments include the following:

Thomas Hurst said...

That comment reminds me of a couple of Jehovas Witnesses we had visit us a few times, years ago. They attempted to convince me that life can't come from non-life because of the second law of thermodynamics; that the entropy (disorder) of a closed system always increases.

When I explained that the entropy of the universe overall is most certainly increasing even while life might reduce it locally, just as tidying a desk might reduce entropy on the desk but increase it everywhere else by expending that energy, he agreed with me, but seemed to think I was agreeing with him. Maybe I should have explained it to him using smaller words, but he swiftly moved on to the similarly flawed "a hurricane can't build a 747" analogy.

"Intelligence can't come from non-intelligence" sounds much the same. How the hell would he know (does he have any peer reviewed papers?), and how do you solve things like the infinite-regress problem of an intelligent universe not being able to come from a non-intelligent one.. is it smrt universe all the way down?

---

Joseph Said...

Thanks for your comment Thomas.

I won't try and argue my case based on any scientific theory, because I'm not educated enough in that field.

However, I would say that for me personally, there is so much sense and interconnectivity in all that is and all that happens around me, that it feels far less probable that this is a result of coincidences occurring within a disordered universe, than the results of some form of action carried out by some form of intelligent energy.

---

Anonymous said...

My word Joseph…this sounds remarkably like you subscribe to the concept of “intelligent design” (ugh…)…next thing you’ll be telling us you’ve “found God”.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we are programmed to try to make sense of what is happening around us…we look for patterns, things that are familiar, things that we can hold onto, so we don’t get overwhelmed by the infinite randomness and complexity of life. It is a strength but also a weakness. Questions we can never know the answers to need to be explained somehow…thus, you end up with religion and various other ideologies that serve no purpose but to put our minds at rest. To allow ourselves to relax and to stop searching for an answer that may/will never come.

Strangely enough, this links in with the entry below. Why can we not be happy that this is all there is? Why can we not be happy that we will, live, love and die and nothing more? Why do we have to believe we are special in some otherworldly way, are we not special enough to the people we love already? It is this dissatisfaction with is what we already have, the lives we already lead, that frustrates me. All this stuff about life-force and stuff…in the end, does it really matter? The here and now is all that matters…and even if there is anything after, well, let’s just say you won’t be in a position to blog about it!

I am also beginning to get a little concerned all these “motivational” tapes/books you seem to be consuming. Admittedly, you seem pretty happy at the moment…perhaps deliriously so. The only problem I have with them (putting aside the fact I think most of it is woolly-minded clap-trap) is that many of them have exactly the same amorphous messages just put in slightly different way. More often than not their messages are hopelessly indistinct…like a cloud or a Rorschach inkblot…or a politician. Politicians try to be all things to all people. That requires them to say nothing, but to sound like they are saying something. They toss in a little spin to try to get all those people with those different views to see in the politician things that they like. Many of the slogans Nightingale/Kiyosaki et al spew forth are amorphous and generic in their actual meaning, but have the effect of making people think they have just gotten good advice. This is also why horoscopes often appear to be so “apt”. Their aptness is self-provided. In effect, their cryptic obscurity provides a random set of ‘answers’ that the reader fabricates into something seemingly appropriate and useful. Perhaps these motivational tapes are filling some spiritual void…? Who knows. After all, we all have an overwhelming desire to believe in something, anything…and these tapes are always vague but full of promise, emphasising enthusiasm/devotion over rationality and clear thinking…sounds a bit like organised religion, no?

Additionally, if you keep listening to stuff that reaffirms beliefs you already hold – it becomes less a process of self-improvement but a process of self-stagnation - your opinions become brittle, unbending and blinkered. You lose the ability to look at situations from a different perspective, so deeply entrenched become these views. Reliable decisions are only made if based on the clash of conflicting views.

I can’t understand this latest entry…we gain satisfaction when we know we’ve done our best. Disappointment comes when you know you could’ve/can do better – in turn, this dissatisfaction is the fuel from which determination comes. Determination is how progress in any area of our lives, in society in general, is made. The desire to succeed this is what you need. Of course as long as you are clear of your definition of success. Maybe Darren is dissatisfied because he knows he can achieve more. If he just sat back and rested on his laurels he may never be truly fulfilled…he’d always have that niggling thought that he could do more. In this situation the idea of writing down your goals is a good one - if you know what you where you want to be you won’t be constantly striving for some unspecified goal. You’re confusing determination with undeserved self-satisfaction.

[this comment has had the final paragraph removed]

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Joseph said...

...quite a lot, but it's not fit for publishing.

My apologies, anon, for inferring that you are "stupid", which of course I do not believe to be the case. As a result of that I had a very restless night, forgot to feed the dog and woke up in a sweat!

My apologies also for removing your final paragraph, and your next comment in its entirety - I do not wish to have that conversation here, although I shall keep the comment for when the book comes out :-) Clearly, you have strong negative views on the subject, just as I did. There is much evidence to support your argument.

However, there is also much evidence to the contrary. I'm now making a conscious choice to go with the latter school. Ultimately, none of it matters, so if I am proved wrong in the long term we can smile and move on.

Perhaps I am naive in believing that people are fundamentally good.

joseph

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Striking a balance

It's been quite interesting for me learning about the Tao in the light of the other reading I've been doing this year.

Many of the books I read at the beginning of the year had messages such as

"Step outside your comfort zone!"

"Dream, and then chase that dream!"

"Live everyday as if it were your last!"

"Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today!"

"Strive to better yourself every day!"

Whilst I wholeheartedly subscribe to the notion of striving to better yourself every day, I also find myself in agreement with the Tao, that teaches

"Accept everything as it is, everyone for who they are".

"Trust that when the time is right, whatever it is you are seeking will come into your life."

"Be happy with what you have now. After all, you are OK now - so why subscribe to the idea that you will only be happy 'when X happens'"

"Don't pursue some label of 'success' - by living in harmony with your source / self, you are successful already"

That final point reminds me of my brother's email signature:

"If at first you don't succeed, change your definition of success!"

There was a time when I couldn't agree with that (although I did find it funny). It was an easy way out. Now though, I think he was quite right.

By subscribing to a notion that 'success' will only be attained when we have X amount of income, when we know X number of kanji, when our chocolate cakes are as delicious as those made by X cake shop, we are offering ourselves up for a life of disappointment, frustration, and general feelings of inadequacy.

I've seen it in action, and find it both alarming and sad.

A non-Mumbling friend of mine, we'll call him Darren for anonymity's sake (and because that's his real name), started a property management company in April 2006. Over the past 18 months he's built up an impressive portfolio of apartments that he rents out on the south coast, which generate a substantial monthly income.

However, Darren is not happy. Why? One of his closest friends, who doubles as his role model, started a similar business not long before he did, but due to the fact that everyone's circumstances differ, his friend has done much better - he has quite a few more apartments than Darren, who tells me that his income is a lot higher.

Because of this, Darren has feelings of frustration, anger and worthlessness - why can't he do as well as his friend? Whats wrong with him? Why is he such a failure?

...when of course the truth is, he's not. He's achieved incredible things in a short space of time. He should be patting himself on the back, congratulating himself for what he's achieved, not beating himself up for not hitting some target that he'd set himself based on his friend's performance.

The same idea could be applied to me on my language course. Compared to some of my coursemates, my ability to read Japanese is pretty bad. The traditional self-development approach might tell me to strive to do better (which I am), but the Tao teaches me to accept things as they are, without frustration or anger.

Finding a balance between the two is something I've been trying to do of late. Yes, I will push myself to improve my language skills, but no, I will not become too despondent when I don't live up to some external measure. I mean, I've done alright so far with the skills I have - would it really be so bad if I carried on like this?

This naturally links in with Being Happy Today - for there is no tomorrow.

I will also not pay too much attention to the BIG goals that other people have for me (as I know some fairly influential people do!).

"Don't let others confine you or define you".

Whilst this quote may have been intended for people who have at times felt restricted by others' small ideas of what they are capable of, it could also be applied to those of us who can at times feel suffocated by others' BIG ideas of what we are expected to achieve.

By adopting this approach, one avoids setting oneself up for disappointment, whilst improving in whatever area of one is concentrating on. There is no frustration caused by slow progress, and no feelings of inferiority when one sees others doing better.

I feel that the Tao has brought a bit of balance back into my life. I have my goals, and I strive to achieve them, but I won't turn over happiness to their achievement.

Writing about this reminds me of something Earl Nightingale once said: it's not achieving our goals that brings us the greatest satisfaction - it's the process of working towards them. As soon as we have achieved that goal we often set another; this once again reinforces how important it is to be happy or satisfied with where we are today.

With that said, I am now going to do my daily Japanese letter writing. The current script details an epic adventure in the Mongolian outback. Good job I know what "herdsman", "curd" and "constipation" are in Japanese!

tarra

Tags: self-improvement | The Daily Mumble

Are you an Amazon shopper?

The loss of Google Adwords was a bit of a shock - I'd been using it to pay for bandwidth and server space, as well as raising money for Oxfam earlier this year.

Still, the ending of that contract forced me to explore other avenues, one of which has been Amazon.

I've not been too impressed with their adverts so far - they're not that responsive to the content of the Mumble, but none the less they have resulted in two sales since last week.

I know a couple of Mumblers who are regular users of Amazon.co.uk /.co.jp, so I thought I'd set up an easy link that they may like to use - it takes them straight to Amazon, but by using this link a portion of Amazon's profits will be redirected to The Daily Mumble.

The links are on the right hand side of the page. It's easy to remember too:

www.tamegoeswild.com/amazon

For those in Japan, the address is
www.tamegoeswild.com/j/amazon

As with the Audible ads, 20% of any profits made after the bandwidth is paid for will be donated to charity.

Let's sing and dance!

I blogged this not all that long ago, but the link was buried amongst others, and I don't think I did it justice.

Imagine if everyone lived in the spirit of this message! Wow, what an amazing place this world would be!

CLICK ON ME!!! "The Big Hoax".

Being a final year student I'm now being bombarded with 'career opportunities' ...ooohhh it makes me wince! It takes me back to my sixth form days when working for some big company was what it was all about, at least according to the Careers Service.

Let's sing and dance all the way along!

Tags: The Daily Mumble

Getting on board with Audiobooks

It struck me this afternoon that I have been doing rather a lot of advertising around here for Audible of late ...and not getting paid for it!

So let's change that!

Whilst the following may sound like a sleazy sales talk, I do mean every word of it: the positive impact that this company has had upon my life in terms of sheer listening pleasure and knowledge acquisition is not something to be sniffed at.

Anyway, where were we?

Ah, yes, Audible.

(Audible are of course that fantastic web-based company that leads the world when it comes to audio books).

So yes, it all started for me earlier this year when I really really wanted to read a particular book, but was 'too busy' to read it. I'd heard Audible mentioned on the TWIT network, so thought I'd take a peek.

A quick search in their library of thousands resulted in my finding a non-abridged version of the book in question. It was a lot cheaper than the rrp, but still, at £20, not cheap.

Then I found a link to a free trial - sign up for one of their monthly subscription packages (which entitles you to 1 or 2 audiobooks per month) and you get two books free. Being a free trial I ended up paying nothing for the £20 audiobook, and got another one free.

The service was so good I stuck with them. When leaving Japan for London I decided to cancel the subscription whilst on the train in case I never made it back - cancellation was easy and there were no hidden costs. Once back in the UK, I reactivated my subscription. (I have since deactivated it as I have a backlog of books which I just can't wait to listen to!).

Last month I accidentally deleted one of my audiobooks - one by Deepak Chopra - without having transferred it to my iPod. No problem though, it was still in my personal online library, available to download as many times as I wanted.

Basically, I think they're great - if there's anything you want to read or learn about but 'don't have the time', give Audible a go.

By clicking on the picture below, you'll qualify for two free audiobooks when you subscribe. And of course, it's a free trial, cancel any time, no questions asked.




Whilst I don't agree with encouraging consumption / shopping, I am perfectly happy to encourage people to invest in Audiobooks. For a start, the carbon footprint of a downloadable audiobook is significantly lower that that of a real book. Also, I find they encourage me to learn more, and as anyone who has been round here for a while will know, my listening has had a significant positive impact upon my life.

Thus, hurrah for Audible! Join me and sign up today!

Tags: The Daily Mumble

A huge THANKYOU!!!

You see, there I was just wondering how I was going to cope with the next couple of weeks, when, when I entered the kitchen to put the kettle on what did I find? A surprise package for me!

And look what was in it!


A huge THANKYOU to Mum #2 for your generosity. I shall dig EXTRA DEEP when I'm back on the Welsh Garden Project this Christmas!

Happy Happy Happy!

Tags: chocolate | The Daily Mumble

Busy Busy Busy

This past week I have constantly been thinking, "What can I let go of? Where can I make some extra time?"

Yet now I find myself with a few new errands, all of which I find very hard to say no to as I want to do them.

For a start, there's the Japanese Embassy in London who are paying me by the hour to advertise their presentation on Monday about the Jet scheme (which I'll be attending, and the lecture by the Minister of Commerce following it). Then there's dinner with the Cultural Secretary on Monday night, certainly something to look forward to. I'll really have to push the limits of my Polite Japanese speaking ability!

Then there's the business meeting on Saturday in MK at which I will be talking about my year in Japan, then Sunday is a trip to Yorkshire Sculpture Park with Photo Soc to get some shots of the work of my hero, the legendary artist Andy Goldsworthy. I'm very excited about that! Wednesday I'll be working for CILASS on the Information Commons Treasure Trail, then off to a SEAS meeting about the year abroad (for the benefit of next year's 3rd-year students), and following on from that a lecture on our dissertations.

Thursday I have two presentations: one on Lean Production for my work and soc module, the other for Photosoc about 9000 miles.

Friday there's a business meeting, and of course, the launch of Apple Mac OS 10.5, something else I am mightily excited about. That's going to result in a full format and reinstall, and we all know what fun that can be (although on a Mac it is about 3 billion times easier than on Windows, basically being a case of drag and drop).

Oh, and there's lectures, a tonne of kanji, and translations on top of that.

Does anyone know of a spare Joseph I can borrow?

Tags: The Daily Mumble

Fire Drill

We had our annual fire alarm test this morning. I always think it's an interesting excercise, as it demonstrates differing attitudes towards life.

You know, like that of people who clearly don't like their course, and so take ten minutes to evacuate their flats.

Standing in the courtyard in the freezing cold, you're exposed to all sorts of attitudes. For a start there's the first-year males who haven't got laid yet, who see it as the perfect opportunity to strut their stuff, appearing in the freezing cold Yorskshire night in nothing but a tight pair of boxer shorts.

Then there's the young girls who cannot be seen without their make-up, trying to wrap their heads up in their laps as they sit on a bench, cursing the "F*cking half-six-in-the-morning fire alarm".

As we stand there, being told that we really do need to be quicker (and next time, bring a coat), the older men start to shout;

"If you want us to be quicker you should have set it off later"

"How would you like it having to get up at f*ckin' 6.30am?" says another chap, clearly unable to think straight at this early hour.

Having been told to "Put a sock in it! The longer you go on the longer it'll take me to get through this 90-second bit I have to tell you, and the longer you'll be keeping everyone out here", they quietened down, smarting from this blow delivered right before their mates. Grumble mumble... until we're dismissed. They try to get the last laugh by delivering a final insult to the Fire Officer, but it's lost over the eruption of voices as we head back in.

Anyway, time for my morning exercises.

Jogger in Weston Park

It Doesn't Matter

It wasn't that bad a day for me personally. It was a bit disquieting though towards the end.

Took my Mac to Apple shop this morning, as it has't been able to finish burning DVDs lately. Also, the screen got scratched during 9000 miles. And the keyboard surround has split when the lid makes contact.

All will be replaced free of charge next week. It'll only take them a couple of hours - they'll fix it in-store.

(Name me a UK Windows vendor that will do that...)

Following that a bit of work for CILASS, a meeting with a tutor, then Japan Soc's Tandem Learning. I guess I should start to think about adapting to the circumstances: *Twinkle*s here, and that's a fact. It does throw me though.

Tonight I needed to make a few phone calls, write a couple of emails, and now it's bedtime. I feel somewhat frustrated that I haven't studied all that much today.

It's at times like this that I just have to tell myself, "It does't matter". Because, ultimately, it doesn't. None of it.

I gave all my love, and I am loved. That's all that matters.





That and the fact that Apple agreed to fix my Mac for free.

Today I learnt that I have a temporomandibular disorder - Hurray!! 

Now I get to add yet another section to my healthy-living routine, this one involving me opening and closing my mouth like a relaxing frog.

This afternoon I carried out my most ambitious experiment yet into 'mind over matter' - in the dentist's chair.

I was told that I needed a filling replacing - thus quite bit of drilling would be necessary. 

As I sat there, the noise of the drill going straight through my jaw and into my brain, I thought of the nicest possible things I could think of, which for reasons of decency I won't share with you here. 

Well, it was so relaxing that I nearly fell alseep, THAT'S how good it was!  

Anyhow, yes, I was told that I have temporomandibular disorder, which is treated by doing regular jaw exercises.

I'm told that I should see results in three weeks - watch this space.